Hornfreak Chapter 3
Editors notes:
WARNING: This story contains the following:
Spoilers for Vash's real age
Grammar and spelling errors galore
Shonen-Ai jokes. (Its meant to be funny people! I’m not trying to prove any of the Trigun relationships)
A mixture of Japanese terms (Tongari...sama..ect) and English terms (Mr...ect..)
Ok, that’s about it this time.
Road Trip.
The dreaded word. Sure, for most people road trips weren’t THAT bad.
Then again, other people didn’t live with the Gung-Ho-Guns.
Midvally the Hornfreak did.
The entire group of trained killers stood in front of Knives’s personal mini van. Knives (Being the environmentalist that he was) had gotten a nice solar powered one to help protect the environment. One the back was a bumper sticker that said “Save a plant, kill a human”. Getting in was probably the hardest part. Knives drove, Legato claimed shotgun, and everyone else charmed into the back. The main rule for a road trip with the Gung-Ho-Guns was simple. Don’t sit next to EG Mine.
So Midvally was in the middle (Along with Sylvia) with Rai Dei the Blade on one side and Dominique on the other. Midvally always kind of figured that a Road Trip was the demo of hell. For one thing, the van stopped everytime they went under a could. Secondly, Legato insisted that they stop at every fast-food place they saw. As for the 3rd…..it had all started when they’d stopped at the 7-11 for food.
“Are these granola bars made from all natural ingredients?”
“Might you have any green tea?”
“Umm..guys..EG’s stuck in the door again”
Midvally had so casually walked by the soda fountain to avoid getting cause in the confrontation between Zazie trying to by cigarettes and the cashier demanding to see ID.
{Midvally thought to himself. “Hmm..Big Gulp…and it comes with a free cup..and..hey…they have Mountain Dew… 62oz for only 2.34..alright..”}
He’d been regretting that ever sense. “Knives-sama…can we pull over?”
“No can do Middie! We’re making great time”
Legato nodded in agreement “Yes…I concur, there are so many more things of vale then your own bladder Midvally, going to the July Fair will be quite the experience..”
Midvally made odd whimpering noises.
Dominique smirked. “You know…you could just use the free cup the drink came with…”
Midvally flailed at her “Are you crazy? I’m not doing that!”
*5 minutes later*
“Ahhh…….”
6 more minutes later, Cain the Longshot peered over a sleeping Midvally’s shoulder and commented “Hey, someone didn’t finish their Mountain Dew. Well.. don’t want good soda to go to waste”
A little while later, much screaming was heard
Finally they reached their destination of the July fair held in what was left of July. The entire group fell out of the van along with Midvally who had a red mark on his face where Dominique had smacked him when he’d drooled on her in his sleep. After being trampled on by the rest of the Gung Ho Guns, Midvally stood up and looked around.
Only to be run over by two insurance girls who where making a run for the out-houses yelling “Uriiiinnnnneeee!!!”
Midvally was wondering if he should even bother to get up when he noticed a familiar pair of clogs coming up to him.
“Well…you haven’t changed a bit..”
“Urufudo…”
“Excuse me?”
Midvally stood up and spat out a mouthful of dirt. “Wolfwood”
The two of them stood there in an awkward silence.
“So……”
They were then interrupted by Vash (If you can call it interrupted, they weren’t even saying anything).
“Hey! Wolfwood! Wanna go look at the miniature plant models?” Wolfwood smiled at Vash “Err…not right now Tongari, I’ll catch up with you”
Vash nodded and ran off. Midvally looked at Wolfwood “Tongari?”. Wolf shrugged and lit a cigarette. “For you it was Middie, for him its Tongari”
More awkward silence
“So…Vash…he seams like a nice guy…he’s what? 23?”
“’Bout a 128 actually”
Midvally nodded.. “So…you like older guys then?”
Wolf kinda shrugged. “And…you’re with who? Legato?”
“Heh, I try…I think he’s using me as a substitute for the fact that him and Knives didn’t work out”
“Oh….”
“Mr.Priest!!!” Milly ran up to them carrying a huge stuff Kuroneko “Mr.Wolfwood, Senpai and I were gonna go on the rides with Mr.Vash. Do you want to come?”
“Eh..In a sec Milly,”
Milly stopped and noticed Midvally. “Mr.Wolfwood, who’s your friend?”
“Him? Oh this is Midvally..”
“You mean the one who you always said snored, wore funny shoes, and slept with his saxaphone?”
Wolfwood sweat dropped. “Ehh…why don’t you get going, I’ll catch up with you…”
Milly nodded happily and bounced away with her Kuroneko doll (ala’ ep.12) going “What was that look on his face?”, while running past Legato who was taunting Vash mentally while trying to eat a huge candy apple that was stuck in his mouth..
Vash looked up, putting on his trademark shades {What do you want?}
Legato (with the candy apple still in his mouth) smirked. (Well..tried to, he did have a candy apple in his mouth.) {You shall find out soon…Vash the Stampede}
Legato got up and started to walk off forgetting to stop using his mental powers.
Vash stood there, still hearing Legato was saying
{Mmm…this is a good candy apple…I wonder what else they have…oh! Popcorn! How much money do I have left…that’s not enough…maybe I can ask Zazie… Bah, I have evil physic powers, I don’t need money…I…is this thing still on? Woops…er…umm…You still have some time left…yeah, that’s it}
A rather confused Vash, watched Legato walk away.
Wolfwood had turned kinda red with Midvally looking at him agitated.
“Look Middie, I’m sorry..it just didn’t work out…I mean.. I’m a wandering priest trying to save the lambs that’ve strayed off their paths..and you….you play a sax and wear wing tipped saddle shoes..”
“I’ve told you hundreds of times..there’s NOTHING wrong with my shoes”
“You need something durable…like cl-“
“No. I am not going to start wearing clogs”
“Didn’t hurt to try…”
The two of them looked at each other for the longest time.
Wolf leaned closer to Midvally…
“Midvally! Midvally! Legato’s gotten his hair stuck in the cotton candy machine!!! Come quickly!”
Midvally looked at Wolf “Heh…Sorry about that.. I’d better get going…”
“Yeah, see you later”
“Right”
Midvally ran towards the crowd of gathering Gung Ho Guns and Knives who was yelling “No Legato! Eat it AFTER we’ve pulled you free”
END