***** Things You Probably Won't Hear On Trigun
By Miyako Inoue, Queen of Cheese and Official Heir To The Throne of the Mighty Hornfreak, Whatever a Hornfreak May Be
*****
Vash:
"I can't take any more of this 'love and peace' crap! I'm gonna shave my head and join a punk rock band!"
"My GOD, Rem, don't you ever quit stalking me?!"
"Eew, girl cooties!"
Wolfwood:
(singing) "Who let the dogs out?"
"And this little patch reduces your nicotine craving and helps you quit smoking for good! See? You just put it on like this... Wait a minute! It's not working! *licks it* Hey, Vash, can you fit another one on my butt?"
"If this Legato guy can read thoughts... then he knows all about that dream I had... the one with Millie in it... the one that I wish wasn't a dream... aw, crap..."
Millie:
"Well, it's really very simple, Meryl. All you have to do is take the square root of the height of the triangle and multiply that times the perimiter divided by three..."
"But Nicholas and I are just friends! Really! I mean it, guys, quit laughing!"
Meryl:
"Screw Bernardelli! I'm off to become a nun!"
Knives:
"Very few people know this, but I'm really severley lactose intolerant. Macaroni & cheese makes me break out in hives."
(hopping up and down) "Chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi CHIBI!!!"
(singing) "What a girl wants, what a girl needs..."
"Where did Legato FIND these guys?"
Legato:
(in Russian accent) "Kitty kitty kitty. Do you want to pet the kitty? The kitty is so soft and pretty. Do you want to pet the kitty? Yes, I want to pet the kitty."
"I'm going on a sugar-free diet."
"What?! We're having hot dogs again!?"
"Ooh... lookit all the purty colors..."
"The wall bit me!!!"
Midvalley:
"No one understands me!"
"Um... just what exactly is a hornfreak, anyway? Was I drunk when I filled out that application form? I DEMAND ANSWERS!!!"
Group:
Legato: "Hey guys! Wanna play house?
Knives: "I get to be the daddy!"
Midvalley: "I get to be the baby!"
Legato: "And I get to be the mommy and wear the frilly pink apron!"
All: (squeal) "YAY!"
Knives: "And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly-" GH Guns: "For a white guy!"
All GH Guns: (watching Bambi)
Midvalley: "You mean she's DEAD?"
Legato: "Poor, poor Bambi!"
Monev: "This is so SAD!"
Zazie: "Get over it."

Midvalley: "Hey Zazie?"
Zazie: "What?"
Midvalley: "Where do babies come from?"
Zazie: (sighs) "Do I really have to explain it to you again?"
Midvalley: "Pika?"
Legato: "Chu!"
Both: "Pikachu!"
E.G. Mine: "And I never got a pony!"
Phsyciatrist: "I see..."
Knives: "Vash, I never told you this, but..."
Vash: "Yes?"
Knives: "... I love you."
Vash: "Um... is this the brother-brother kind of love, or the sick weird incest kind?" Knives: "Um, the incest kind."
Vash: "Oh." (long pause, then the two begin kissing)