It's probably me

Nicholas D Wolfwood hadn’t been in such an embarrassing position in some time. His pants and shirt were off; he was lying stomach first on the hotel bed and Vash the Stampede was sitting on top of him.

Trying to pulls cactus needles out of him.

“AH! Tongari, would you please be more-AH! Careful?”


Vash the Stampede glanced up, a pair of tweezers in hand. “Sorry, but there’s no other way to take them out.”

“This is all your fault you know that! If you hadn’t fired your gun at me five times!”
“I was trying to scare away that rattle snake that was near you”
“You didn’t even hit it! All it did was cause me to jump out of the way and fall down that hill into that bed of cactus!”
“Well, I wasn’t gonna kill it! After all..”
Vash did his “Crossed peace” sign. “The world is made of LOVE AND PEACE!”
Vash looked at Wolf sincerely. “I just wanted to scare it away.”
Wolfwood buried his face in the pillow and gave out another yell of pain.

Milly Thompson meanwhile had stopped by Wolf and Vash’s room justs in time to hear the following conversation.

“Do you have to jerk out so hard like that!”
“Well if I do it slower it will hurt more!”
“Well, it already does hurt incase you haven’t noticed!”
“Maybe this would be easier if we took of your boxers.”
“Forget it”

“Umm…excuse me?”

Wolf turned around to see a rather perplexed Milly standing in the doorway.
Vash waved to Milly who happily waved back.
Wolf gave Milly a blank stair.
“What are you doing here?”

“Huh? Oh!” Milly happily entered the room holding up a bottle of liquor. “You asked me to bring this for you Mr. Wolfwood. Something about killing the pain…”

“Oh..that…thanks hon… if you could just stick a straw in it…poor the whole thing into my mouth.. that would be wonderfu-“

Wolf blinked as Meryl suddenly appeared and took the bottle from Milly.
“Milly, we were saving this for dinner tonight!”
“But..Senpai. it’s for Mr. Wolfwood.”
“Well, it’s his own fault for being so reckless in the first place… honestly.. walking over to a rattlesnakes nest just to get some eggs… and you!” Meryl glared at Vash. “Shooting at them! Gah! I swear the two of you are just impossible to keep an eye on, it’s like taking care of two kids!”

Meryl stormed out the door muttering about extra paper work. Milly turned to Wolfwood. “I’m sorry Mr. Wolfwood, I’ll try to get something else for you…” her face brightened. “I know! I’ll get some tea for you! That always makes everyone feel better!”

Wolf sighed “It’s ok… it’s not that ba- AH! Ok! Ok! Just try to sneak that liquor back when your superior isn’t looking!”

Milly rushed out of the room nodding.

“Ah!” Wolfwood turned his up to look at Vash. “How much longer do you have-AH! Left?”

“Well… I have most of the lower torso done..” Vash gave a happy smile. “That just means I have to finish your upper back thigh and rear”

Wolfwood gave a weird combination between a sob and a sigh.

* * *


“For the love of God!” “Two”

Vash finally managed to pull the last cactus needle out of Wolfwood, who by now looked like he was going to faint. Milly applauded.

“Wow, that was great Mr.Wolfwood, you made that last one with out crying.”

“Girl, you never did get that bottle of tequila did you?”

Milly looked embarrassed. “Sorry, but I think Senpai knew what we had in mind, she locked it in her suitcase.”

Vash looked up “Meryl has a lock on her suitcase?” Milly nodded.
“Well, she was rather upset… she had to explain to the hotel management of all that noise going on up there. Mr. Vash I don’t think you should dare Mr. Wolfwood to go get rattlesnake eggs anymore…”

The entire room was in silence for a few minutes.

“Um…I should probably go now…” Milly stood up and headed for the door “I’ll tell you when we all go get dinner, bai!”

“By Milly!”
“Later Big Girl..”

Wolf turned his head slightly as the door closed. “Bah, she’s resourceful, she’ll think of something”

Vash reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a bottle of ointment.
“We could use this….”
“This ointment, it can be used for soreness really well.”
“Let’s hope it works….”

Vash started to rub the ointment on Wolfwood.
“Ouch..that stings….”
“Only for a moment, then it’ll take away the pain.”
Wolf winced but it wasn’t half as bad as having cactus needle’s in him so he kept quiet.


“Yeah Vash?”

“I can’t put it on where your cloths still are…”


Vash smiled. “It’s ok, just trust me…”

Wolf sighed as Vash slowly helped him raise his hips a little to pull of his boxers.
“God this is embarrassing…”
“Hey, I said trust me..”
Wolf gave a small laugh as Vash started to apply the ointment in more sensitive areas.

“I’d always trust you Tongari… you might be Mister Goody-Two shoes but I’d always trust you. Ah…that still stings…”
“Sorry, about that.. you’ll probably be able to lay on your back now… You really mean that Wolfwood?”
“Tongari, if I didn’t say it then I wouldn’t mean it… I mean, you’re special to me…even if you did cause me fall in a patch of cactus and now I won’t be able to sit down for a week…”
Wolf’s eyebrow had started to twitch. “Yeah, you’re very special..”
Vash all of a sudden took a very surprised Wolf’s head in his lap and hugged it.
“Wolfwood that’s so sweet!” Vash’s eyes had started to get misty.
Wolf gave a small laugh. “Heh..”
Wolf paused. “Hey, at least you could knock.”

The door creaked open and a rather surprised Milly walked in. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to interrupted anything.”
Vash quickly pulled one of the blankets over Wolfwood.
“You heard that?”
Milly nodded. “It was very sweet of you Mr.Vash.”

Both men sweet dropped.

Milly’s smile didn’t waver. “Oh yes, and Senpai says that we’re all gonna go out to dinner.”

Vash turned to Wolf. “Maybe you should stay here and get some rest. Um.. tell Meryl that I’ll be right down Milly.”

Milly once again nodded and left the room wondering what hair color Mr.Vash and Mr.Wolfwood’s children would have if the two of them ever married and had kids. She then figured that they’d probably need to adopt, so they could be any color they wanted. (All though she did like the idea of black and really pointy hair.)

Wolf staired at Vash for a moment. “She kind of needs to stop doing that…”
Vash nodded.
Slowly he turned Wolf over in the bed so Wolf was now staring up at the ceiling. “That doesn’t hurt to much does it?”
The Priest shook his head. “It should be ok…”
Vash staired at Wolf a sec and tucked him in. “Here this way you won’t be to cold.”
“God, you’re acting like a Mom or something.. this is getting really embarrassing…”
Vash smiled and gave Wolf a quick kiss on the forehead.
Wolf blinked a few times in surprised. “Vash…”

“Don’t worry Wolfwood! I’ll bring back some left over liquor.”

After Wolf hear the door shut behind him, he simply staired at the ceiling some more.
“Crazy man…” he muttered to himself. He’d always found himself impressed with Vash. Mostly due to his flaws, Vash was trusting, he was honest, he did the right thing. He was much like the larger of the two insurance girls with one major difference.
Vash was aware of the horrors that existed in a person. Wolf could tell by looking at him. Vash and his painful smile.
Milly’s smile was sincere. Always sincere, she wasn’t aware of the horrors of the world. She was pure, innocent, naïve and unassuming. And Vash… Vash only pretended. An actor, he wore a mask made of paper mashie. A mask that he only took of in the darkest of hours. The scares across his body were not only physical but emotional as well. How many times had that man been hurt, humiliated, ashamed? He wondered how long Vash had been alone until he’d meet up with the two insurance girls.
He wanted to be with Vash, always. Yet at the same time, he himself had his own masks, he was jaded, cynical of human life. The fact that people like Vash and Milly could be so optimistic about human life frustrated him. Especially Vash, after what he’d been through he had no excuse. Yet somehow he remained cheerful, as if he had one thing that would always keep him going.

As Wolfwood though, he suddenly felt his eyes get heavier. Slowly Wolf relaxed and found himself asleep. Wolf could never remember his dreams. Just bits of them. In this one he found himself talking to Vash and as he talked he found that blood was on his hands, it kept dripping onto the floor, splattering in small puddles that splashed onto Vash’s boots.

He woke up breathing heavily as though he’d just been running. He didn’t know if he’s actually cried out or not. Sweet poured down his face.
“Wolfwood?” Vash peered over him. It was night now and the room was quiet accept for the soft blow of wind outside.
“Vash? What time is it?”
“About nine, me and the insurance ladies just got back. I was just getting ready to go to bed.”
Wolf noticed that Vash was in his pjs.
“Cute jammies Vash.”
“Hey… I’ll have you know these are my favorite pajamas”
Vash’s expression became serious again. “Are you alright? You look like you just had a bad dream.”
“I…I think I did..”
“What was it about?”
“ was something personal…”
“You should always tell a person your bad dreams Wolfwood, that way they’ll never come true..”
“What if it was about the past…”
Vash sighed. “You have those too huh?”
Vash hugged Wolf, running his fingers through the Priest’s dark black hair. “It’s ok… we just need to put it behind us… and think of what we have now.. like how I have you… and those two crazy insurance girls..”
Wolf blinked in surprise. “Tongari…”
Vash scooted into bed beside him. “I’ll be here for you, don’t worry”
He gave Wolf a playful wink. “I’ll let you sleep on me like you do with Milly…”
Vash snuggled next to Wolf. “Night Wolf..”
“Night Tongari… hey Tongari…”
“Yeah Wolf?”
“Don’t lean right there, it’s still really sore.”
“It’s ok… sort off”
Wolfwood sighed and glanced at the now sleeping blond man next to him. “Thanks Tongari… I’ll be here for you too… I promise.”
He sighed to himself and wondered just how long he could truly keep his promise to his best friend.