Heavy Shonen-Ai (Lime maybe?)
Spoilers for ep.24
Title is taken from the Sting song “Fortress Around Your Heart”
It still hurts.
My life is nothing but pain and death. I take a delight in devoting my life to having people experience this. But now it is myself who is experiencing pain.
Anything in my still human mind that might object to this matter is no longer there.
Only my devotion to make Him happy.
He grabs me again, pushing harder. The pain spreads through my entire body. I want to cry out, but I bit my lip. I wouldn’t want Him to see that I’m suffering. After all, this is what gives him pleasure.
Finally, He lets me go. The pain ends.
He sighs to himself.
He doesn’t say anything.
He grabs my face, looks at me for a moment, and leaves.
I lay there on the bed.
My body is shaking.
I lay there for a few more minutes. My mind continues to repeat it’s self.
It makes Him happy.
It pleases Him.
I am nothing to Him.
I am a replacement. A replacement for Vash the Stampede. I fill up the emotional gap for Him.
And yet… He hardly acknowledges me. I am dust… worthless.
I get up and dress. I walk out into the hall.
I turn to see the musician, Midvalley the Hornfreak.
He’s human, much like myself. Imperfect. A flaw, no more of use then a virus that must be eliminat-
“So what’s your name kid? Legato? Nice name, I’m Midvalley”
I blink it out of my mind. He is insignificant.
“Where did you get that bruise on your face?”
I’d forgotten about that. I remember his words as He’d shoved me agenst the wall and slapped me across the face.
"YOU are Vash.. YOU are the REPLACEMENT.. and I WILL dominate you.. I WILL control you.. "
I don’t tell him.
It’s not the musicians concern. He has no place in what I do-
“Don’t cry kid, I’m gonna look after you. Just like Knives said”
I look up again.
“Would you come to my quarters? I could give you some ice to put on that.”
I nod. His act is a foolish one of kindness, but I accept it anyway.
He has me sit down, I watch as he hands me a bag of ice. The coldness numbs my skin, it dulls some of the pain. But there is no entire absence of pain. My entire life is pain. He looks at me with… is it concern? I have no need for his concern. The words repeat themselves again. He is nothing, he is human, just as worthless as myself. I stand up, taking the ice with me.
“Legato-sama?” He grabs my arm for a moment. Before I can react to his actions, I find myself wincing in pain. He looks at me, still concerned. “What happened?”
I once again tell him that it’s nothing. That it’s not his concern. He’s more stubborn then I have given him credit for in the past. “I’m not one of your average lackeys Legato-sama, show me.”
I would have killed anyone less them him who had told me that. Or at least seriously wounded them. But he’s different. My respect for him is great then that. Enough that I have actually told him myself. And yet I can never understand why I do so-
“Damn kid, you have a lot of talent you know that?”
I take off my coat, gloves, shirt.
I reveal to him a collection of bruises and bit marks on my chest. All new.
All to please Him.
The musician’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything as he starts to clean my wounds. I hardly make any effort to notice the dull stinging of the iodine.
Finally he speaks.
“Why do you put up with this?”
I look at him. The fool. How can he not see such an obvious question?
“It pleases Him. I only live to please Him. In life there is nothing else.”
I stand up and start to grab my shirt, wincing slightly due to the pain.
His voice is raised. “How can you do that to you self? He’s such a crazy asshole! Y-“
I watch calmly as his arm is twisted behind his back. He cries out, falling to the ground, wincing in pain.
My voice is raised ever so slightly.
“How dare you…. How dare you insult Him? He is a god compared to you. You’re nothing more then a human.”
He looks up at me, trying hard not to yell. I stand there knowing that if I have his arm push any farther he’ll break it. He knows it as well.
“Y…You’re human too…-“
“It’s True! You let him hurt you because you believe that you disserve it!”
“It pleases Him.”
“You disserve better then that monster.”
I stand there, his arm goes farther, I wait for the sna-
“When you get older I need to take you to a bar, nice one…lots of hot girls.. they’d all love you”
I release my control. He collapses, breathing heavily. I walk over to him and grab his face, looking into his dark brown eyes.
“And who would you believe could do better…Midvalley the Hornfreak?”
He glares back. “I would, come down here and I’ll show you something very human.”
I pause for a moment and I kiss him. He seams surprised for a moment, but he kisses back. Slipping his own tongue into my mouth. I pull off his blouse as he proceeds to run his fingers through my hair. I pull him over towards the bed and I push him down on it. I continue to undress him as he runs his hands up long my body. He is completely naked now. I take off the rest of my articles of clothing. I run my hands down his thigh, lower.. lower.. he cries out in pleasure. He keeps running his hands down my body. I ignore the old bruises that I have received. For know my entire body is in a experience of pleasure.
We spend the entire night making love.
I wake up early and leave with him still sleeping naked curled up in the sheets. I look at him for a moment. He looks peaceful.
“I know it hurts Legato, just hang on a little longer, the arm will make you stronger, I promise”
I shake the vision out of my head, get dressed and leave.
I can’t recall how long it’s been sense then, perhaps a few weeks. I watch as the musician losses the battle to Vash the Stampede. I watch as he takes his own life. I feel nothing. After all, he was only human. I blink as I feel something fall on my shoe. I look down. Tears.
I’m crying. Yet, that’s impossible. I feel nothing for him. He was useless, he was-
“Hey kid, if you ever need anything just come to me ok? I’ll listen for ya.”
I let the tears stream down my face, I still have no idea what it means.