The Gathering of Trigun fandom.
Editors Notes:
Before you read, a few warnings
One: Lot’s of good talk about yaoi. (nothing graphic, after all this is a parody)
Two: Yes, this does parody my views on Trigun fan fic writing. But keep an opened mind even with my opinions. Enjoy
Today was the annual Trigun fan fiction convention.
“Yay!” Knives yelled happily. “Today’s the annual Trigun fan fiction convention!”
The group had rented out the local town hall of the city and had offered free donuts and coffee to whoever
showed up.
What can I say?
Midvalley’s job doesn’t pay much. He takes free food when he can.
Unfortunately Midvalley wasn’t much of a fan fiction writer either.
So he sat there, in one of those little fold up chairs trying to think of a quick Trigun fan fic he could write in 5 minutes or less. He figured on writing some weird insight poem. He had learned that if you babble in coherently about Vash, give it the name of “Lost Angel”, “Fallen Angel” “The man with three guns who was an angel” or any other angel crap, the reader’s ate it up like happy puppies calling it “sweet” and “insightful” while in truth he was making it up with the use of poetry magnets.
“And now!” Announced Knives who was standing at the podium.
“Legato Bluesummer’s has a fan fiction he’d like to share with the rest of us”.
Everyone clapped.
Then everyone waited for five minutes
“Legato?” Knives turned to were Legato was happily munching down on free donuts.
“Legato you said you had a fic you wanted to share with us.”
Legato looked up.
“Oh yes… I do..”
Legato quickly wiped all the donut crumbs from his turtleneck and walked up on stage.
“Thank you… My fan fiction is entitled… ‘Midvalley gets tentacle raped’”
“WHATTT????”
That person in cause you haven’t figured it out in this case was Midvalley.
Legato continued to read in his dead-paned voice.
“Once upon a time, Midvalley the Hornfreak was walking around… when all of a sudden.. a pair of
tentacles popped out of the earth… they grabbed Midvalley. He screamed, but it was no avail.. slowly the tentacles slithered up his right leg…”
“Um Legato?”
“They slithered closer and closer…”
“Legato?”
“Right up to-“
Knives in an attempt to save what little dignity Midvalley had left, quickly grabbed the mike from
Legato and did his infamous “Squish Legato” move.
“Heh heh… sorry about that folks.. Midvalley? Midvalley?”
A rather traumatized Midvalley was shaking like crazy.
“Damn…. Well that brings us to our next fan fiction writer, please welcome EG Mine!”
EG rolled (or walked.. or …whatever the hell he does…) up on stage.
“Tank you! I vanted to share my story.. it is called “Trigun meets Gundum Wing!” Ahem. Once upon a time Heero said “Omae wo korosu” and Vash said “Love and peace” and Wufie walked up and said “Onna” and Relina said “Come and kill me” and Wolfwood said “Ok” and killed her and Duo said “Thanx u she was stupid. The End”
Nicholas D Wolfwood (Lone Priest and MSTinger extrodinare) made plans never to touch that one with a ten-foot pole.
“Okay.. who’s next?” “Ah, Miss Milly Thompson. And what did you write young lady?”
Milly giggled “I wrote a story about how Mister Vash and Mister Wolfwood marry and have kids, and they have a really fun time. Oh.. I also put in a lemon scene but you can just skip that pa-“
“Milly!”
Meryl Strife stormed up on stage.
“Bernardali is supporting the ‘normal coupling’ section, you can’t read that!”
“Oh.. sorry.”
“Well then!” Knives laughed evilly.
“I suppose I should just read MY story”
Everyone gulped…
“I wrote a really sweet Vash and Meryl fic!”
Everyone face faulted.
Knives giggled like a schoolgirl.
“I think they’re SO cute together.”
Dominique jumped up “How can you say that? Meryl has a month long menstrual cycle! They’re awful together!”
Hoppard the Gauntlet waves his funny little hand things around.
“Are not! Meryl is a cool and capable woman!”
EG Mine stood up “Vell Wolfwood talked to Vash so they must be yaoi lovers!”
Monev stood up “Actually, I always liked the Wolfwood and Milly coupling”
Zazie stood up but he was short anyway so he stood up on a chair. “So he was nice to her, slept on her shoulder, bought her pudding and calls her “My Honey” big deal!”
“But what about ep.23?”
“………………………….. well! The anime sucks, so there!”
Then a few deranged fan girls ran in claiming that Vash was there’s to begin with and he didn’t love any one but them. THEN they ran over to do the same with squished Legato who was licking donut crumbs off the floor with that messed up tongue of his and got very turned off and walked over to Vash, who squealed like a school girl and yelled “Do I even know you girls???”
“I’ll save you Tongari!”
Wolfwood stood up on a chair, jumped up, grabbed the lamplight and swung towards Vash.
Unfortunately, lamplights aren’t made to support Wolfwood’s, so Wolfwood fell down even before he reached Vash and landed on Midvalley.
Vash finally jumped up
“People! PEOPLE!”
Everyone stopped and looked at Vash.
“We shouldn’t fight. We should respect what couplings each other people like”
“You! Yaoi fans! Don’t you find it hypocritical to call Wolf and Milly icky, but at the same time complain if a person has no interest in Wolf and Vash?”
“You! Normal fans! Don’t you think that you should respect the yaoi fans for their weird weird ways?”
“Why must we all fight? If people pro-Vash and Meryl can put up with Vash and Wolf then shouldn’t the pro-Vash and Wolf put up with pro-Vash and Merly?”
Vash stood up on a chair
“The Time for us to unit has come!”
With that, the group started to chant “Maximous! Maximous!” then they stopped and started chanting
“Vashu! Vashu!”.
And then everyone joined hands and sang “Why can’ t we be friends?” and lived happily ever after.
--End
(at this time the author would like to remind you to embrace Trigun fandom and not to get too defensive over things, after all, The World is Made off…. LOVE AND PEACE!
thanks
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